Welcome to your November Mudderscopes: the only 100% accurate mud-based horoscope on the internet. (Seriously, we checked and you’d be shocked at the competition). Instead of looking at the stars, we looked deep into the mud and unlocked the truth that few are daring enough to admit.
SCORPIO: In preparation for your World’s Toughest run you “break-in” your wetsuit by wearing it for a full week before the event—leading to some very awkward staff meetings.
SAGITTARIUS: You might not be the strongest or fastest person on your team, but when someone needs a scene-by-scene reenactment of Cool Runnings to lift their spirits, that’s all you baby.
CAPRICORN: In an effort to demoralize them, you spend countless hours perfecting insults to shout at each obstacle… completely forgetting that they’re, y’know, not people.
AQUARIUS: Mr Stevens told you that you’d never make something of yourself, but here you are in your 25x headband absolutely destroying this impromptu Mudder Village dance-off you pulled together.
PISCES: Haters gonna hate, but the minivan you’re about to buy is not only supremely comfortable, it’s also gonna be absolutely essential for carting your crew from event to event.
ARIES: With a new goal in mind, your early morning workouts will reach the next level. Although your neighbors could do without the ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ scream singing.
TAURUS: Streaking through your parents’ 50th anniversary party is definitely the worst way to relive the rush you felt conquering Arctic Enema, but you do you.
GEMINI: The legend of your obstacle-conquering powers grows to almost mythical proportions when you tame the Block Ness Monster on your first attempt.
CANCER: Your painstaking effort to create a handshake for every member of your family at Thanksgiving dinner goes largely unnoticed after your dad unveils yet another dynamite Turkey. The man is a genius.
LEO: Your boss is seriously impressed with how you rallied your team to finish one more lap at World’s; they just wish you’d rally yourself to show up to work on time for once.
VIRGO: The incredibly detailed, laminated obstacle strategy cheat sheets you made for your squad would be much more effective if you hadn’t left them at home.
LIBRA: Your World’s Toughest pit area gets way too crowded after word gets out about your mac & cheese lasagna burgers.
And ICYMI: Check out last month’s October Mudderscope.